Today was kind of a lonely one, meaning I was pretty much around the apartment all day by myself, so I didn't have much of an opportunity to love on some people. Unless you count smiling to random people, including a man with a long pony tail that seriously needed to be cut. I dropped off a big box to Goodwill that had a few stylish things in it- someone will surely feel the love from a cute new top that will cost half if not less than half of what I originally paid for it. Why can't girls have a wardrobe like guys? You know, they can keep wearing the same thing over and over again and not get tired of it, but girls, we always have to have something new to wear. I think it's more for our image, to make us feel good. It works though doesn't it? Buying a new top, outfit, or dress- you put it on and feel like you own the town. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but that new top that you just had to have ends up going in the Goodwill pile months later. What was the purpose of even buying it?
So, I was thinking today as I was working out of the things I want. This thought stemmed from watching The Bucket List as I was on the elliptical. My thoughts first started out in thinking about the things that I wanted, then going to if I had a short time to live, what would I do in that time period. THEN, my thoughts ran to what Jesus says in Matthew- "Do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself," and the verse that talks about how we're only promised today. So, shouldn't we already be living life to the fullest every day? The answer to that question is an astounding yes, but the problem I have with that is figuring out what that means. Does my day today- spending hours online trying to consolidate my school loans, looking up classroom decorating ideas, and graduate school scholarships, going to the gym, and running a couple of errands represent a day that has been lived to the fullest? Oh, we can't forget putting together the new vacuum cleaner and vacuuming the new apartment. Anyways, I don't have the answer to that question and I don't want to think about it anymore. Something I want to do...build my own house. Not with my bare hands, but I want to design it and well, hammer a couple of nails in it to say that I built it. I'd like to eat ice cream every night with Ryan and not consider the calories that I would be putting into my body. I want to go back to Nicaragua. I want to get really good at making and designing cakes. I want to ENJOY every day and today, I did just that.
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